How to Include Children in Your Wedding (Beyond the Bridal Party)

If you’re planning your wedding and there are kids in your life, it’s really a no-brainer to invite them into your bridal party, right? It’s an honour to be asked, and it makes their family super-happy, proud and even more excited for your big day.

But what I’ve come to realise when chatting with the various flower-girls and page-boys I get to meet with, is that they often don’t share quite the same excitement. It’s simply that for the under-ten crowd they don’t yet fully realise the significance of a wedding. It can be a long and tiring day for them.

So I started thinking about other ways to ensure our little loved ones feel involved and it really comes down to the individual kid (funny that!). Once I’m aware that a couple wants to involve a child in their big day, I recommend they sit down with them and ask what makes them feel most excited about your wedding.

One boy was super-excited about the wedding cake. So we asked him to draw a few pics of his ideas and collect a bit of inspo on Pinterest. We then took him along to the meeting at the bakery and he had a chat with the baker. Between them they came up with a design that fitted his ideas and that the bride and groom liked also. In fact they were amazed at how seriously he took the task! He really wanted to get it right for them. As a final touch, when we had the menus printed for that wedding, under ‘Dessert’ we wrote ‘Wedding Cake - Designed by Oliver’ and Oliver experienced the joy of having guests congratulate him on his work.

Another very little one was going to act as her aunt and uncle’s flower-girl and she believed very firmly that the role involved giving out flowers. So while the bride and groom were signing the wedding certificate and making things official, this little girl was given a basket of loose stems and she walked through the crowd handing them out. It made her so happy to fulfil her role as she saw it.

For some kids the bridal party just isn’t for them, but there are still lots of things they can do to feel like they’re doing something special for you, particularly if they’re a little older. I’ve seen a twelve year old do the most amazing job as MC for the evening. If you’re having your pet at your wedding a lot of kids like to be assigned Puppy Wrangler for the day. They can do a reading at the ceremony, escort the bride down the aisle, show people to their seats, or help with any DIY projects you have going on. Play to their talents and interests!

So by all means, have your special little ones in your wedding party. The photographs will be adorable, and no doubt they’ll appreciate the honour as they get older. But I also encourage you to ask them what they would like to do for you on your wedding day. They’ll probably surprise you, and I guarantee it’ll make for all kinds of good vibes on the day xo